


Careless and Free (Like Animals)

by Dracothelizard



Category: Take That (Band)
Genre: Animal Transformation, Crack, Fluff, Gen, Light Angst, Robbie has mysterious animal transformation powers just go with it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 08:52:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10636500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dracothelizard/pseuds/Dracothelizard
Summary: "He found the Golden Retriever sitting on his doorstep, glaring at him pointedly in a way only one person was capable of.“Gary?” he asked, his hand already coming down to pet the furry little head, as his hand always did when seeing a dog."---A few years after Robbie turned Jason permanently into a cat, he's got to deal with Gary being turned into a Golden Retriever.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Blame the Clickbait Robot: https://twitter.com/clickbaitrobot/status/846378863303254016
> 
> None of this has ever happened, as far as I know.
> 
> The title is a line from The Animal Song by Savage garden.
> 
> Much obliged to LittleMoose for the beta!

When the barking didn’t stop after five minutes, nor after ten, and after Robbie realised it was coming from outside his apartment, he went downstairs to open the door. He found the Golden Retriever sitting on his doorstep, glaring at him pointedly in a way only one person was capable of.

“Gary?” he asked, his hand already coming down to pet the furry little head, as his hand always did when seeing a dog.

The dog barked once, managing to sound accusing, then ducked out of the way of Robbie’s hand.

“Oh, come on,” Robbie said, leaning down. “Don’t be like that, Gary.”

The dog glared at him, but finally let Robbie pet him once, then ducked his head again.

Robbie sighed. “I suppose that’s fair.” He stood up, folding his arms as he watched Gary stand there. “I’m guessing this happened last night, then?”

Gary barked at him once.

“Bark once for yes, twice for no,” Robbie said.

Another bark.

“I’m gonna assume that’s a ‘yes’.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket to pull up Gary’s Twitter feed. Maybe it contained a clue about the ‘how’ and the ‘why’.

Well, Robbie already knew the ‘how’ and the ‘why’. He knew he had turned his friend into a Golden Retriever when he’d been feeling anxious yesterday about the upcoming musical announcement and ensuing PR. What if no one bought tickets? What if everybody hated it? What if it turned out to be shit? Those thoughts and more had all been running through his head.

Spending the evening in his flat in Stoke-on-Trent hadn’t helped, since being here always reminded him of his biggest fuck-up to date.

Speaking of that biggest fuck-up, Robbie felt something nudge against his right ankle. “Oh no, you’re not getting anywhere!” He made to grab Jason, but instead of trying to escape, Jason stayed where he was, standing next to Robbie and staring up at the dog. Jason flicked the tip of his tail.

Gary tilted his head.

Jason meowed up at Robbie, then went back up the stairs, Gary trotting up after him.

Robbie stared at them for a moment. “Hey, wait,” he yelled, closing the front door behind him. “Don’t show Gary that you keep shitting on my bedsheets, Jay!”

Jason had been a cat for a little over four years now. It had been early 2013 when it had happened, after there’d been talks of another Take That album, and with that had come talks of songs and lyrics and tours and promo. At the time, Robbie had been preoccupied with his own upcoming tour. He had had trouble enough focusing on that, focusing on having to get up on that stage by himself without knowing the others were backstage. Preparing for his own tour had been nerve-wracking enough without having to consider what was next.

Gary, Mark and Howard hadn’t been very impressed that Robbie’s anxiety had expressed itself by turning Jason into a sleek brown tabby. It hadn’t even been the first time, but as minutes turned into hours turned into days, Robbie’s panic had only grown, and Jason’s distressed yowling hadn’t helped.

And that was how Robbie had ended up with a cat in his flat in Stoke-on-Trent.

“You turned him into a cat,” Gary had declared, handing a quiet Jason over to Robbie. “You take care of him until you manage to turn him back into a human.”

Robbie had promised them he’d take the best care of Jason, and that he wouldn’t want for anything.  

He sighed as he followed Jason and Gary, still scrolling through Gary’s Twitter feed. There had been a performance on The One Show the previous evening, and it hadn’t gone well. Robbie wasn’t sure what to make of Gary’s excuse that they’d been in a hot dressing room.

And how on Earth had Gary made the trip over here? Had he managed to hitch a ride even as a dog? Jumped on board a train? There were too many questions.

He entered the living room, where Jason was sitting in the window sill with his back towards Robbie, his tail swishing behind him as he watched the street outside. Gary was lying on the sofa, eyeing Robbie with sad eyes. “I’m working on it!” he told the dog, who let out a pitiful whine.

He called Mark first, because Howard would probably give him a bollocking before explaining anything, and he needed explanations.

“Hey, so… I’ve got a new roommate,” Robbie said, after Mark picked up.

“Ah, so he found his way over, then?” Mark replied, sounding relieved. “I wanted to take him home with me, but Gary was determined to go somewhere. I was hoping he’d head for your place.”

“Yeah, he’s just arrived.” Robbie turned to look at Gary. “Mark says ‘hi’!” he called out.

Gary raised his head and barked. On the window sill, Jason’s ears flicked back, but the cat’s attention remained on the street.

“So what happened?” Robbie asked. “I’m guessing it happened after your performance?”

“It happened before, actually,” Mark replied. “In the dressing room. Rob, seriously, what was going on? Gary kept switching between a Golden Retriever and himself. We were lucky he didn’t change in the studio!”

Robbie ran a hand down his face. “I am so, so sorry about that.”

“So after we got through that nightmare, I figured we were fine, but then as we were headed out the building, he turned into a dog again,” Mark continued. “And he stayed a dog. I think we walked around for, oh, probably an hour, just hoping he’d turn back.”

“And then he didn’t.”

“Not really, no. And then, like I said, he didn’t want to come with me. I thought, well, Gary clearly has his own plan and you know how Gary gets when he’s got a plan.”

Robbie was very familiar with that. “He probably spent all night walking to get here, poor thing.” He was gonna have to get out and get some kibble as soon as possible. “Look, don’t worry about it. I was just feeling a bit nervous about the musical and tickets going on sale, but things are gonna be fine, right?”

“Exactly,” Mark assured him. “It’ll be great! Let us know when he’s back to being himself, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Robbie replied. “By the way, who put up the tweet about the hot dressing room? Was that still Gary?”

“Oh no, that was Howard,” Mark replied. “We had to put up something, and it was the first excuse we could think of. Howard said he’ll do a few more reassuring tweets today, to make sure no one thinks it’s something serious. You know how the press and the fans can get.”

Robbie gulped. “You, er, you’re gonna let _Howard_ tweet some reassuring things? On Gary’s account?”

Gary raised his head at that, and barked a few times. He jumped off the sofa, and nudged Robbie’s knees with his head.

“Gary, stop it,” Robbie told him, as Gary jumped up at him. “Down, boy!”

Gary stayed on all fours, but barked again.

“Mark?” Robbie said, hoping Gary would calm down soon. “I don’t think Gary likes the idea of Howard being in control of his Twitter account.”

Mark laughed. “It’ll be fine! Howard knows what he’s doing. You just focus on turning Gary back, all right? Who knows, maybe you’ll turn Jason back too.”

Robbie sighed as Mark hung up on him. “Well,” he told the dog, “I guess that’s extra motivation for me to turn you back as soon as possible.”

Gary looked at Robbie’s phone, and let out a sad whine.

*

The trip to the local pet shop was a quick one, and there were several things he still needed to get later, but at least he would have the essentials.

Gary was still curled up on the sofa where Robbie had left him, and Jason had joined Gary, sitting next to him.

“Aww, Jay, you keeping an eye on Gary there?” Robbie said, smiling at the sight. “Good, he can probably do with that.”

Jason promptly yawned at him, then curled up to lie next to Gary’s shoulder.

Robbie put one of his shopping bags down, and took a quick picture to send to Mark and Howard. _Things fine here!_

He busied himself filling one bowl with water and the other with dogfood, and brought both bowls with him into the living room. “C’mon, Gary, I’ve got breakfast.”

Jason jumped off the sofa to investigate, but seemed to wince after sniffing at the dog food.

Robbie smiled. “I was hoping you wouldn’t like it.”

Jason sat down and meowed pitifully, and that was enough to make Gary pad over.

Gary looked at the bowls, then up at Robbie, then back at the bowls again. He barked twice, and shook his head.

“I know it’s not your usual breakfast smoothie or salad or whatever it is you eat nowadays, but you’ve got a dog’s body with a dog’s stomach,” Robbie told him. “I’m not risking it. What do you think I’ve been feeding Jason?”

Gary tilted his head and looked at the cat.

Jason just flicked his ears, sniffed at the dog food again, then wandered over to the sofa and jumped onto the back of it.

“He’s been eating cat food,” Robbie informed Gary. “Excellent cat food, but still cat food, and the occasional piece of raw chicken breast.”

Gary sniffed the dog food warily, then his ears perked up and he started gobbling the stuff down as if he’d been starving.

Which, well, considering that he had changed last night and had been walking for hours, that was probably an apt description. Even assuming Gary had managed to get on a bus or a train somehow, he probably hadn’t had any food since the change.

Robbie crouched down next to him. “You haven’t been having a very good day so far, have you?” he said, feeling a familiar stab of guilt. “I promise I’ll do what I can to turn you back.” He gave Gary a friendly pat on the back, then got up.

Jason was lying on the back of the sofa, eyeing Robbie suspiciously as he sat down.

“Any suggestions from you, Mr. Orange?” Robbie asked, reaching out with one hand. When Jason didn’t move, he scratched the cat behind his ears for a moment. “Didn’t think so.”

He took out his phone, opening messages from Howard and Mark. Howard informed him that, since Gary was still a dog, nothing was fine, while Mark at least told him that they looked very sweet together like that.

Gary, having finished his meal, came back to the sofa and lay down next to Robbie. He rested his head on Robbie’s right thigh, and whined softly.

Robbie rested his hand on Gary’s back. “I know, Gaz,” he said, showing him the messages from Howard and Mark. “I know exactly which interviews and performances are coming up.”

That got Jason’s attention, who got up and peered over Robbie’s shoulder at the phone.

Robbie, who wasn’t sure how much Jason could read as a cat, held the phone up to his face. “Want to know what you’re missing?”

Jason stared at the screen, then promptly turned his back to it to wash one of his paws.

Robbie shook his head. “Weirdo,” he said fondly. He looked down at Gary. “You’re probably still tired, but how about a quick walk? You must be bursting, and there’s a dog park nearby.”

That led to another whine from the dog.

“I know,” he said, stroking Gary’s fur. “But you’re a dog, and you can’t exactly use my toilet and the litter box isn’t big enough for the both of you.” He got up to grab the black collar and lead from the shopping bag.

When he showed Gary the collar, the dog ducked out of the way and refused to let Gary put the collar. “Look, I don’t like it any more than you do, but dogs have to be on a lead around here,” Robbie told him. “I can’t let you out otherwise. What if someone finds you and takes you to some animal shelter?”

Judging by the Golden Retriever’s face, Gary preferred that over letting Robbie put a collar on him.

“What if,” Robbie continued, “you turn back into a human there, hmm? How’re you gonna explain that? I mean, it’s April 1st so you might be lucky, but I wouldn’t take the risk.”

Gary whined, then looked up at Jason, then back at Robbie.

“He’s not coming with,” Robbie told him. “I promised you all that I wouldn’t let him out the house.” It wasn’t worth the risk. The road that went past his house wasn’t that busy, but there was more than just random traffic out there that could hurt a cat.

Gary whined again, looking up at Jason even more pointedly.

Jason started scratching at his neck, also giving Robbie a significant look.

“You’re wondering why he doesn’t have to wear a collar?”

Gary barked once, wagging his tail slightly.

Robbie smiled, feeling pleased he had figured it out. It was also good to know that Jason and Gary could definitely communicate with each other. He hoped that would somehow make things easier on Gary, and maybe even on Jason. “Well, like I said, Jay doesn’t go out, so there’s no need.”  

Gary looked up at Jason again, then sat down, raising his head at Robbie expectantly.

Robbie put the collar and lead on Gary. “I’ll take it off when we get back from our walk, all right?”  

Gary did look a lot happier at that announcement, and got up.

Robbie grabbed his things. “All right, Jason, you know the rules. No wild parties while I’m out.”

Jason lay down on the back of the sofa, and watched them walk out the door.

Robbie watched Gary as they walked down the stairs. He really hoped he’d be able to turn Gary back soon, but the longer Gary remained a dog, the more anxious Robbie got. He remembered the list of appearances, and wondered how long Howard and Mark would be able to keep up the pretence.

*

It was quiet outside, with not a lot of other people at the dog park, and those who were there, pretty much ignored him, which suited Robbie just fine.

Gary stayed close to him, even after Robbie had taken the lead off him. It was understandable that Gary was a little worried about being out like this, amongst other dogs.

A tiny Dachshund came bounding up to them, and Gary hid behind Robbie’s legs, trying to avoid the smaller dog sniffing at him.

Robbie stopped walking, letting Gary and the Dachshund walk in circles around him for a moment. “Oh, come on, just let him sniff at you, he’s just trying to say ‘hi’,” Robbie told him.

Gary barked at him, but stopped, lowering his head to sniff at the Dachshund suspiciously.

The Dachshund wagged its tail, then ran off, looking over its shoulder to see if Gary was following.

Gary just gave Robbie a confused look.

“I think you’ve just been invited to play Doggy Tag,” Robbie told him, stuffing his hands in his pockets and smiling. Gary was a dog-owner himself, he should understand what the Dachshund was doing, but apparently there was a big difference between understanding and taking part.

Gary nudged the back of Robbie’s knees with his head, urging him forward.

“Oh, all right, you’re not in a playful mood,” Robbie replied. The Dachshund had already run off elsewhere, looking for a better playmate. “Not sure why I expected otherwise from you, Bar… Barry.”

Gary barked sharply at that.

“I don’t know, I think it suits you,” Robbie said, grinning. “And I can’t go around calling you by your real name, can I?”

They wandered around the dog park for about fifteen minutes, during which Gary _did_ wander off to investigate some trees and bushes, and answer the call of nature. Robbie pulled a face when he realised he’d have to deal with one of those calls of nature, and he was pretty sure Gary was beaming with smugness when Robbie was dealing with the plastic bag. Fortunately, he carried those bags around as a matter of habit now.

“I’m going to assume you took a shit because you think it’ll motivate me to turn you back faster,” he told Gary, “or because you really needed to, rather than because you think this is funny, or revenge.”

Gary just wagged his tail, and trotted off proudly.

Robbie sighed, and went after him. “Okay, we’re definitely heading back now!”

*

The walk home was uneventful, although Gary seemed more relaxed. He spent more time sniffing at bushes or lampposts, and didn’t press himself against Robbie’s legs when someone walked past them or they ran into another dog.

Gary definitely perked up when Robbie opened the door to his apartment, and he immediately sat down on the doormat, giving Robbie a pointed look.

It took Robbie a moment to figure out what Gary wanted, but he nodded and took the collar off. “You’ve been good, so when we get upstairs, I’ll give you a treat.”

Gary looked at him like he thought he deserved a treat anyway, then headed up the stairs, Robbie following him.

Robbie went into the kitchen to get one of those treats, Gary on his heels, and he was greeted by an unfamiliar sight.

Jason Orange, wearing one of Robbie’s bathrobes, eating cereal from a plastic bowl with a spoon like he’d been doing nothing else for the past four years.

“You –” Robbie managed, staring and pointing at Jason. How the hell had Jason turned back into a human? He didn’t remember trying to do that earlier this morning, or during his walk with Gary. “How – but – you!”

Jason stared at him, his eyes wide. “Oh shit,” he said, then dropped the bowl and the spoon, turned into a cat, and sprinted through the doorway into the living room. The bathrobe fluttered to the floor.

Robbie stared at the mess, then looked down at Gary. “You saw that too, right?”

Gary’s bark shouldn’t have been as reassuring as it was.

He didn’t bother cleaning up the bowl, the bathrobe, or the mixture of yoghurt and cereal that was on the kitchen floor, and headed into the living room. Jason was nowhere to be seen, as a human or as a cat. “Jay?” Robbie called. “Jason? Where are you?”

No response. He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting.

There were plenty of spots to hide for a cat in the living room. Underneath the sofa, underneath the chair, underneath the more comfortable chair by the window, underneath one of the cupboards… “Gary, can you smell where Jason is?”

Gary tilted his head, then sniffed the floor. His first steps were slow, but then he headed straight for the TV stand. He stopped in front of it, and lay down on the floor, trying to look underneath it.

Robbie joined him, and sure enough, there was Jason. He had squeezed himself underneath and pressed himself against the wall. “Hey there!” Robbie said, trying to sound cheerful. He reached for Jason with one arm, but he couldn’t reach the cat. “Dammit, Jay, get out from underneath there,” he grunted. His fingertips brushed against Jason’s fur, and he felt the cat squirm out of the way. “I saw you! Have you done that before or was that the first time? Can you do it again? Why did you turn back into a cat?”

Robbie was about 99% sure he hadn’t turned Jason back. He’d been too surprised to do anything. Sure, his power worked subconsciously, but Robbie hadn’t felt panicked or anxious. He’d been surprised, yes, but pleasantly surprised.

Gary, who was still next to him, barked at Jason. Robbie hoped Gary was asking Jason to crawl out underneath as well. Jason always did pay more attention to Gary than he did to Robbie.

“Look, Jason, you can’t stay underneath there forever,” Robbie told him. “You were human. I saw it, and Gary saw it.”

Gary pushed his head underneath the TV stand, trying to squirm underneath as well.

“Wait,” Robbie said, as the TV stand started to wobble. He rested his hand on the back of Gary’s neck. “You won’t fit underneath there; you’re gonna break something.”

Gary let out a whimper, staring at Jason, who stared back.

“We’re gonna lie here and wait,” Robbie told him, “and I’m not shoving your food bowl underneath there with you.”

Jason meowed quietly, sounding annoyed.

“Or the cereal you were eating,” Robbie added. He lay down on his back. “Maybe I’ll call Mark and Howard, tell them what I saw. We can all take turns lying here, waiting for you to come out and give us some answers.” He eyed the cat. “Because you owe us some answers, Jason.”

Jason let out a low growl, staring back at Robbie.

Robbie grabbed his phone and called Mark. “You will never believe,” he said, still looking at Jason, “what has happened.”

*

After about ten minutes, Jason crawled out from underneath the TV stand, slunk into the kitchen with his tail low, and came back out wearing the bathrobe.

“Should be about an hour before they get here,” Robbie replied. “D’you want to finish your cereal?”

Gary got up to circle around Jason, sniffing him suspiciously and letting out a soft whimper.

“I think I will, yeah,” Jason murmured, and he smiled down at Gary. “It’s all right,” he said, reaching down to stroke Gary’s head. “I told you. It’s all right.” He glanced at Robbie. “You wanted to ask me about my lunch?”

“I have a few other questions,” Robbie said, getting up from the sofa. The important ones could wait until Howard and Mark got here. As much as he was still burning with curiosity, it was obvious that Jason was a little spooked and wary, and Robbie didn’t want him hiding underneath the TV stand again. “Like, could you maybe put on some sweatpants as well?”

Jason laughed at that. “I think I can manage that, yes.” He waited a few seconds before heading down the hall, clearly expecting Robbie to ask more questions. Gary followed him, possibly to keep an eye on him and check if he didn’t turn into a cat.

Robbie checked his phone. Mark and Howard were bombarding him with questions, most of which Robbie didn’t have the answer to. He wondered if Jason did.

*

By the time Howard and Mark arrived, Jason had finished his cereal and was sitting on the sofa in a pair of sweatpants taken out of Robbie’s wardrobe, and the bathrobe. Gary was curled up next to him, resting his head on Jason’s thigh. Jason was idly running his fingers through the fur on Gary’s back. Robbie was pretty sure Gary was lying there to prevent Jason from getting up.

“Let’s not start by asking him a thousand questions,” Robbie told Howard and Mark, as they went up the stairs.

“Why the hell not?” Howard demanded. “He owes us some answers.”

Robbie waited at the top of the stairs. “Yes, but I don’t want to spook him,” he said quietly. “I think he managed to turn himself back into a human, and that this wasn’t the first time. He turned himself back into a cat by himself again as well. We should be careful.”

Mark rose an eyebrow. “First time you ever suggested that.”

*

Robbie could see Jason tense up when Howard and Mark entered, and Gary raised his head as well.

There was a long silence, and then Howard snorted. “This,” he said, nodding at Jason and Gary on the sofa, “is the daftest April Fools’ Day I’ve ever had.”

Mark and Jason laughed at that as well, and Robbie smiled. “The punchline was a bit long in the making, though,” Mark added.

“I hadn’t even thought of the date,” Jason said, shaking his head. “You lose track of days and weeks when you’re a cat.”

And that was the cue they’d all been waiting for.

“What was it like being a cat?”

“Was today the first time you turned back?”

“How did you figure it out?”

Jason held up one hand. “Not all at once, please.” He ran a hand through his hair. “No, Howard, today was not the first time I turned back. I’ve been doing it for… I think it’s been a year now.”

“And you never told anyone?” Robbie demanded, getting angry. “You never told me?”

“No! I told my mum, didn’t I?” Jason said, petting Gary, who was listening intently. “Called her first thing. Well, first thing after making myself a sandwich and having a cuppa.”

“Some priorities,” Mark muttered, although he was smiling.

Well, that certainly explained why Jason’s mum had stopped calling Robbie to ask how things were with her son. Robbie had figured she had given up, or that it was too painful to hear that things were still the same.

“With the stuff Robbie’s been feeding me, you’d want proper food too.”

“Hey!” Robbie said, a little insulted. “I gave you excellent cat food!”

Jason snorted. “It all tastes the same, mate.”

“I gave you chicken! Organic chicken!”

“No herbs or anything, though. You could’ve at least added some sauce.”

“You were a _cat_ ,” Robbie spluttered. “Cats don’t eat – they don’t eat ketchup!”

Jason pulled a face at that. “Ketchup’s horrible with chicken. Look, you go down to number 55 down the road, yeah? Nice old lady, she puts out proper cat food, with some variety to it.”

“If you had wanted different food, you could’ve turned into a human and told me!” Robbie exclaimed. “Or left me a note!”

“Hang on,” said Mark. “Hang on, Rob, I thought Jason wasn’t allowed out?”

“He’s not,” Robbie replied, narrowing his eyes at Jason. “How do you know what the lady in number 55 has been feeding her cats?”

Jason gave him a sunny smile. “Oh, that’s easy. Downstairs have a garden shed that’s close enough to your balcony for me to jump on, and from there I jump down onto the neighbours patio table, and they have don’t have a fence at the back, just some hedges.” He shrugged. “I had that one figured out about a month after moving in with you.”

Robbie stared at him. “So why do you try to get out every time I open the front door?”

“Because it’s fun?”

“Being a cat has got to you,” Robbie told him. “I can’t believe you’ve been sneaking out for nearly four years.” How had he not noticed? How had his pet-sitter not noticed?

“Well, if I had had to stay indoors all the time, I would’ve gone out of my mind with boredom,” Jason replied.

“I bought you toys! Fake mice to play with, and those annoying balls with jingling bells, and a laser pointer.”

“Exactly, you bought me cat toys!”

“You were a cat!”

“I think,” Mark said, “we should get back to the fact that Jay’s not a cat _right now_ and has known how not to be a cat for a year.”

Robbie was glad Mark was there to be the sensible one. “Yeah, all right.”

“So why didn’t you tell us, then?” Howard asked. “We were worried sick about you.”

Jason shifted on the sofa, looking a little nervous again. “I thought that you’d just want me back in the band again.”

“Well, of course we want you –” Howard stopped. “You’re saying you don’t want to be in the band?”

Jason shrugged. “I was already thinking about that even before Robbie turned me,” he admitted. “I just didn’t know how to bring it up. And then I couldn’t bring it up. And then I realised that I prefer being a cat.”

“You – you prefer being a cat?” Mark asked, frowning. He looked at Robbie, as if Robbie could provide some insight.

Robbie shrugged.

“Yeah,” Jason said, and smiled wanly. “I mean, it has its downsides, like the food –” He gave Robbie a significant look. “And some of the other cats in the neighbourhood are assholes, but on the whole, I prefer it. No one’s staring at me if I’m walking down the streets, no one has any expectations or demands… I haven’t felt this relaxed and calm in years,” he said. “I can just sit on a garden wall somewhere for a few hours and do some people-watching, and not have to worry over paparazzi. The only two people who have taken my picture over the past few years have been Robbie and his pet-sitter. It’s great.”

Robbie could see why being a cat has its upsides. “Yeah, but… you’re not human. You can’t do anything by yourself,” he said. “You’re dependent on me for everything.” Well, and his cat-sitter.

“Not for everything,” Jason pointed out. “Number 55, remember?”

“Are you saying that you want to _stay_ a cat?” Howard asked, frowning. “Seriously? You wanna stay a _cat_? You wanna spend the rest of your life shitting on a litter box and licking yourself and coughing up hairballs everywhere?”

“I don’t have any issues with hairballs, actually,” Jason replied, and sounded a little insulted. “And I’ve only been using the litter box so I wouldn’t make Robbie suspicious. Ever since I figured out how to turn back to being human, I’ve been using the toilet.”

“I just can’t believe you’d rather be a cat than a human,” Robbie said, still baffled.

Jason smiled as he looked down at Gary, his hand still resting on his back. “It’s not that,” he said quietly. “I’d just rather be a cat than Jason Orange at the moment. It’s easier.”

“It’s fine if you don’t wanna be in the band,” Mark replied, moving to stand behind the sofa. “We just – we miss you, Jay. We miss _you_.”

Jason looked up at him, then at Howard. “Nothing stopped you from visiting.”

“You were a cat!” Howard exclaimed. “How does that help if I just wanted talk to you?”

“Well, at least that problem has been resolved,” Robbie said. “Since Jason can turn into a human when you do visit. Which, by the way, how did you figure out how to change without my help?”

Jason shrugged. “I don’t know, to be honest. The first time it happened, all I remember was really wanting to be human. It wasn’t the first time I felt like that,” he added, “but maybe the feeling was particularly strong, or Robbie was feeling anxious at the time as well, I don’t know. All I know is that one moment I was a cat, and the next moment I was human.”

Robbie had hoped for something more useful. “But you turned back.”

“I did, yes, after about an hour,” Jason replied. “After eating and drinking tea and talking to Mum, I just… I didn’t want to deal with talking to anyone else, and I thought about how much easier things were as a cat, and that I missed that feeling.”

“And then you were a cat again, because that was what you wanted.” So Jason could change not because of anxiety, but because of a need and a desire. “But why were you able to do it by yourself?”

“No idea,” Jason sighed. “My best guess is that it was something my body had become used to, because of all the times you made me switch from human to cat and back. Sort of like how the first time you try a new dance move, it’s incredibly hard and difficult and you’ve got no idea where your arms and legs go, but after doing it a dozen times it comes natural.”

“That makes sense,” said Howard.

Robbie thought it made very little sense. “You’re saying you developed, what, muscle memory for turning into a cat?”

“Do you have a better explanation?” Jason asked.

Even though he was the one who could turn people into animals in the first place, Robbie did not. “Fine,” he said, “we’ll go with muscle memory, then.” He eyed Jason, then Gary, who was still lying next to him. “I’m guessing Gary has been wanting to change back for a while now.”

Gary raised his head to look at Robbie, and barked.

“I’m guessing he wants to turn back right now,” Mark said, looking at Robbie. “Unless Gary has taken to being a dog.”

“I hope he hasn’t.” Howard took out his phone. “I’ve got better things to do than tweet about musicals all day.”

Gary jumped off the sofa, nudging his head against Howard’s legs.

“Hey, calm down, Gaz,” Howard said, trying to push Gary away. “Hang on, I’ll show you what I’ve been doing.”

Gary sat down, whimpering until Howard crouched down beside him and showed him his phone.

“See,” Howard said, “nothing weird or out of the ordinary for you. I even tweeted a few fans on your behalf.”

Jason frowned. “You’re all on Twitter now?”

“Long story,” Mark replied, gesturing at Howard and Gary. “It’s fun, but definitely not for you.”

“You’re not missing out on much,” Howard told him, still showing Gary his phone and scrolling down his Twitter feed. “Gary mostly just tweets about his exercise routines and his musical.”

Gary barked sharply.

“Okay, sometimes he tweets about food as well.”

That led to another round of barking from Gary, who was butting his head against Howard’s shoulder.

“Hey, I thought Golden Retrievers were supposed to be friendly!” Howard protested.

“He’s still Gary,” Mark said, smirking. “Why don’t you show Jay your account, hm?”

Howard shrugged as he got up. “Eh, nothing he hasn’t seen before.”  

Jason looked at Mark. “I don’t want to know, do I?”

“Best not.”

Robbie just smiled. “So, Gary, are you happy that these two idiots have been covering for you?”

Gary eventually wagged his tail, and jumped on the sofa to sit with Jason again.

“He’d be happier if he was human, though,” Jason said.

“So you were able to communicate with him? As a cat?” Robbie asked.

“It was a little muddled, but we got the basics across, yes.”

“Thought as much. How is he holding up?”

Jason snorted. “How do you think? He wants to be himself again, Rob. He’s glad you were here to take care of him, he’s glad to see me again, but the only thing he wants is to turn back.”

Mark and Howard looked at him expectantly. “Well?” Mark asked, bouncing on his feet.

Robbie gulped. “Look, I mean, this is – it’s difficult, all right? I tried my best with you, and that didn’t work.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t _want_ to turn back. He does.” Jason patted Gary’s back. “Go on, Gaz, you can do it.”

It was nice that Jason didn’t put all the responsibility on him. Robbie took a deep breath, focusing on the ball of anxiety and worry inside of him. It had been there ever since Gary had shown up. Hell, it had been there ever since he’d turned Jason into a cat again four years ago.

But that wasn’t his responsibility anymore. Jason was in control of his transformations, not Robbie. Jason even preferred being a cat. There was no need to feel nervous or guilty, not anymore.

And that lifted a weight off of his shoulders Robbie hadn’t realised he’d been carrying. He breathed out, feeling calmer than he had in a long time.

With the sound of an emptying balloon, Gary turned from a Golden Retriever into himself, and was stark-naked on Robbie’s sofa and in Jason’s lap.

“Well,” Jason said, his hand resting on Gary’s shoulder. “It’s been a while since _that_ has happened.”

Gary looked down at himself, then at Robbie. “Am I control of it now as well?”

“I have no idea,” Robbie admitted. “I don’t know how it works exactly.”

“You could try?” Mark suggested, already shrugging off his coat and handing it to Gary. “Think about being a dog.”

“I’d rather not risk it.” Gary gratefully took the coat, wrapping it around himself. “No offence, Jay.”

Jason laughed. “Hey, I prefer being a cat, I think it’d be different if I’d been turned into a dog.”

“It’s good to have you back,” Howard said, grinning.

“All I tweet about is musicals and exercise?” Gary asked, raising an eyebrow. “Really?”

“I just thought you might turn back if you were annoyed enough,” Howard replied innocently.

Gary harrumphed. “Well, at least I’m back to being me.” He eyed Jason. “You sure you prefer being a cat?”

“I’ve had long enough to try it out, haven’t I?” Jason replied with a shrug.

“But don’t you miss anything? What about travelling?” Gary asked.

“I miss plenty of things,” Jason told him. “And there’s plenty of things I don’t miss at all. The travelling… well, the point of that has always been about discovering new places and meeting new people. The past few years as a cat I’ve discovered plenty of new places and people, even in this neighbourhood. I’ve learned loads.”

“So you’re gonna stay here? As a cat? With him?” Gary asked, pointing at Robbie.

Jason shrugged. “He’s only here every once in a while, so I’ve got the place to myself for most of the year. I might change my mind at some point, but for now? Yeah.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever understand you, Jay.” Gary shook his head, then looked at Robbie. “Can I borrow some clothes off of you? We’ve got places to be and interviews to give, and I can’t do that naked.”

“Oh, I don’t think they’d mind much,” Robbie said, grinning. “Nothing people haven’t seen before, right?”

Gary threw one of the sofa cushions at him, which Robbie figured he had coming.

*

A week later, Robbie was lounging on his sofa, watching the Graham Norton Show with Jason curled up next to him as a cat.

“I guess it’s a good thing you’re not with them,” he said, gesturing at the screen. “The four of you wouldn’t have fit on that sofa anyway.”

Jason let out a low rumble, the one he made when Robbie tried to pet him while Jason wanted to be left alone.

“Oh, they’d probably have found you an extra chair,” Robbie told him. “Or you could’ve sat on each other’s laps. I’m sure Graham would’ve liked that.”

Jason yawned at him, then got up to stretch. He watched the screen as the interview went on, and settled down next to Robbie when the show ended.

Robbie smiled down at him, patting his side a few times. “You don’t miss it at all, do you?” he asked. “You really prefer being a cat.” The revelation still astonished him.

Jason pressed against his thigh, closed his eyes, and started purring happily.

 

 

 


End file.
